How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
