Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
