he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
