you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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