By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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