i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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