in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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