You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
