i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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