you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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