oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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