he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
