omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
