Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We don't watch enough power rangers
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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