Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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