It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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