well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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