Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish i was in the wii world.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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