How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She announced her abortion via fbk
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
