he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
