Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
