So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
