So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
