K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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