it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
