she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
