The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
