Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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