I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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