I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
