I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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