when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
