just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
