bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
