i just google imaged poop.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
