He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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