Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
