...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
