It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
