his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I smell like Dick and happiness
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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