What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
