no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
