i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize