it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's the barista slut.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
