she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
