i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
