their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
