i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
