Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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