sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize