Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
