does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
