what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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