Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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