We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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