Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
