Sponge bath it is.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
