my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
